Snow White (2025)

Obviously, this was a hot mess. And I knew that, coming in, but I love mess. In addition, I decided I wanted to watch more bad movies this year so I can appreciate the good ones more. Also, I wanted to support Rachel Zegler, so I came out and watched it with my face in a twitched grimace for a good 60 of the 90 minutes.

The movie doesn’t know what it wants to be. It wants to do a modern retelling of a classic fairytale but it doesn’t commit to anything. I do think it's hard to adapt this story, especially if the goal is commercial success, but it is not an excuse to write something so devoid of meaning. With a rotten core like that, nothing was gonna be able to salvage it.

Then there’s Gal Gadot’s acting. I came with the expectation of being amused by how bad it was going to be, but I just ended up feeling bad for her, because I think as much as a good script can inspire solid performances out of an unskilled actor, a bad script makes every flaw that much more salient. I watched her struggle with the limited tools she has as an actor to make her character even just minimally compelling, but she flails like a mannequin possessed by an overcaffeinated ghost. She was just making faces. I literally heard the girl next to me say "this makes me want to eat the poisoned apple" during her meltdown in front of the mirror.

Rachel Zegler truly is the only good thing here. I kept beckoning myself to feel something throughout the movie and the only times when I managed were during her numbers. She brings genuine joy and good vocals to a bewildering and vapid story. God help her get cast in something better next time.